A Real Vacation

Costa Rica Sunset

Most of us have all been fortunate enough to take a well needed vacation. Sadly for many moms, these trips often turn out to be more tiring than they are rejuvenating. There were times when I returned from a vacation feeling absolutely exhausted. The first time I experienced a "real" vacation after having children was in my early 50's. What!? I wasn't aware that a restful vacation was actually possible. Back in 2016, our family planned a trip of a lifetime to Costa Rica. Now I know that "a trip of a lifetime" sounds cliche, but it truly became one of the best and most rejuvenating experiences in my life. We scheduled two weeks of beach and surfing paradise in Tamarindo, Costa Rica. No, I didn't surf, but I was all about that beach time. It was our kids and my first international travel experience, and our first international vacation as a family. For those who know me well, it's obvious that I'm a planner with solid administrative qualities. As usual, I began to plan for everything. My brain went straight to logistics. "Okay, 3 meals a day, lots of sunscreen, bug repellent, beach towels, first aid, etc". You get the picture. Scott had traveled quite extensively over his life and had done a lot of research on our destination. He assured me that we were in a town that had most anything we'd need during our stay. Still, I was nervous having never traveled outside the US. We arrived at the Liberia airport at dusk and waited on a van to bring us to our surf destination. As we rode toward Tamarindo with other surfers I hadn't yet fully trusted this new place, or the environment. Of course, Scott and the kids were gitty with excitement as they chatted with the other surfers without a concern in the world. (The burden of motherhood I guess.) As we got to our location we realized there were no refrigerators in our room. Well, that blew my snacks and one meal out idea. I had to shelve my logistical default mind. It took a couple of days for me to really grasp the idea that our kids were teens, and mom was not needed every minute of the day, and by the third day, I was beginning to enjoy a vacation where I was not in charge of every minute of activities nor every decision.

Kayla Catching A Wave

To sip coffee and relax as I watched Scott, Garrett and Kayla ride the waves was something new for me. I soon began to grasp the idea of the real purpose for a vacation, and for me, that was to do "absolutely nothing".  This was my first two week vacation and, oh my, I loved it! It became clear that the first week is required as a decompression week, and the second week is where the relaxation truly hits and the batteries are actually charged. For us type A personalities, it's often hard to let go of control and actually chill out, but I can assure you when you do it's life changing.  

I was the kind of mom who made sure the kids (and that includes my husband) had breakfast, that they were coated with sunscreen, that they had activities to keep them busy. I worried about lunch supplies and what I was going to cook the crew for dinner.  For me, it was no different than being at home, but without all my supplies which actually is more difficult to manage. By the time I would get everyone out to the beach, or dressed for snow skiing, or whatever adventure we found ourselves doing, I'd be exhausted before I could even get myself ready for the day.  And of course, as soon as I was heading out the door inevitably someone would come back needing something, and right back into the room I would go. 

Sherrie’s Breakfast Spot

The joke in our family about the ideal vacation for me is now…"when she does absolutely nothing”. My children are now adults, but vacations have taken on a whole new look for me as a result of my Costa Rica experience. I now find myself stopping to smell the flowers more than ever. If our children choose to go on a vacation with us then I let them do their thing. They can make their own sandwich. I am going to the pool, or beach. (No more cold vacations that involve snow skiing adventures and such. It hurts my bones too much now.) I now enjoy taking my chair to the waters edge to sit and observe all God’s beauty. He's quite the artist. Watching sunsets has become one of my favorite vacation past times. We purposefully plan trips to western beaches so that each evening we can enjoy all the amazing sunsets as God paints his masterpieces on the skies. Something unique that we enjoyed about Tamarindo, Costa Rica was that each day the entire town would hault what they're doing to watch the stunning sunsets. It was truly magical, and something that I adopted into my life at every opportunity.  

God’s Painting

The take away is this; I understand that having young children will require more responsibilities for moms and dads while on vacation. Never stop taking those family vacations while the kids are young because they grow up so quickly, but don’t try to be "super mom" either. Make sure that your husband is pulling his weight as you both share the load. Teach your children to shoulder some responsibilities even on vacation. Make them drag their own boogie boards and other toys to the beach and back. Teach them to help where they can. Also, perfection is your enemy. It's okay if the vacation isn't perfect in every aspect. Take a little time for yourself on your vacations to stop doing and to relax. Remember that a vacation is to be shared by the entire family and not shouldered by one person. As I sat day after day watching my family surf the waves, and as we all began to decompress from the stresses of life, it occurred to me that we control our attitudes and schedules. The less I did, the more I decompressed. I understand that not all of us have the same ideas that define a great vacation, and that's okay, but as for me, I discovered that a real vacation is to do "absolutely nothing".